Sanity

Until the storm clouds pass and the dark subsides, you wallow in your own shallow grave. Digging holes you can't get out of, trying to start a spark to connect to the outside world. Listening for a breath, a quiet sign that someone is actually listening to you. A sign other than your own heart beat, that someone else is alive. Maybe they care, maybe they don't, but it helps you hold on to what little sanity you have left.

For you

All you have the right to ask of anyone is for them to try. If you can get their best, then congratulations.

I've given my best, I've tried my best, I've done my best. Sometimes I don't feel like living, but I do anyway. Sometimes I don't feel like smiling, but I always find a way. Even on the brink of tears, I pull out a smile and whip out kindness. Why? Because no one needs to feel the way I do. I may not be happy, but knowing I can add  a little more happiness to someone else's day makes mine a little more worth living. I am the person I am today because there is no one else like me. I am here to help them, not me. I can help me on the way. But I am here for you.

I may not be where I want to, but I can look back on my life and be ready to die today. I may not have finished everything I wanted to, but I finished enough; I finished what needed to be done. I look back and can smile because I know I overcame that pain. I walked through the impossible and got back on my feet after being buried. So now I'm going to be here for you.

Fire

For all of you pyromaniacs out there, have you ever stopped and thought about why you like fire so much? About why you like burning things?

Fire is a beautiful thing. It's beautiful, yet destructive. It can cause pain, but when used correctly the infliction of pain can be avoided. The way the flames dance and lick at the air is mesmerizing. The colors, how they wave and change shades. How the flames flicker and sway with the support of the colors. Looking at fire is calming. I care stare at it for so long. It's quiet. Flames are quiet. The silence and colors and flames almost intertwine with your soul if you stay long enough. Imagine flames.

You are pyros because you find release within the flame.

Magic of sorts

When you have that "epiphany" you feel like magic. When that one person leaves, so does that feeling. When that feeling leaves, you don't feel the same. When you can't feel the same, that feeling will never exist or come back to you. Each feeling will be different, no matter how small of a difference it is. It will be missing.

Do better S, do better

I make monsters. I hurt people. I kill things. I make the world cold.
If I moved away from here... I have the option to... do you think that things would get better for you?

I wish you believed me and that I could help you...
But I never help.
I only ruin things
and I hurt them
and I destroy them
I kept dressing in white... because I thought maybe I could fit in with the angels or do something good
But I cant do anything right so I just wear black.

Because after so many people leave, you barely have a heart left
and you barely have anything to give.
And people get upset with you because they dont understand
I believe in you.
I believe you can do better cause all I do is rip people apart S,
I make monsters.

Be you

Everything in life is extremely better when you don't give a shit about anything. You can be free and do what you want to when you want to, and just be you.

No Regrets

So I found this old message that cropped up... I sent it a while ago...

o.o

i didnt... no please no i didnt mean like that i just... no

i keep killing everyone and I cant do anything about it 

My life is a fucking fail

and I'm srry I cant get through to you or help.

You're acting like you never want to see me again.

Im obviously not you're one if you dont even want to try for later...'

I cant do anything right...

do you see what I mean now, do you??

Cause this always fucking happens to me and i cant stop it.

I cant ever fix anything and I'll never be able to.

yeah maybe I do love you too. Maybe I'm fucking terrified of loving someone cause I have my heart ripped out so fucking much

me loving you doesnt even fucking matter to you anymore.

really, I don't have any regrets... not even the worst days of my life because they help me learn... but when you find something like this from the past, then you should understand that you need to change, or talk to someone. 

Keep the ones you love close. Apologize to those that matter so they don't leave later. And open your mind. You need to be able to think in order to change.