I'm tired of the pain.
I'm tired of the depression.
I'm tired of false rumors.
I'm tired of nosy people.
I'm tired of people assuming.
I'm tired of the same old thing.
I'm tired of people who won't leave me the hell alone.
I'm so freaking tired of hearing about your made up problems when I have my own to deal with. I'm tired of the attention hogs, of the people that constantly fight with me. I'm tired of relationships failing. I'm tired of trying to keep my head on while every one else explodes. I'm tired of everything that happens. I want to be done. I want to be done but I can't because it's not my turn. It's not my turn to decide yet.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Minds
The human mind is an interesting concept. How it works, it's thought process, what it controls. All of these work differently within an individual.
Some are filled with secrets.
Some are dark.
Some are confused.
Some are controlled by others.
Some are lost.
But a mind is a mind. A direct pathway to why a person does what they do; An explanation of why. A hidden answer to the question that can never officially be answered: Why.
Some are filled with secrets.
Some are dark.
Some are confused.
Some are controlled by others.
Some are lost.
But a mind is a mind. A direct pathway to why a person does what they do; An explanation of why. A hidden answer to the question that can never officially be answered: Why.
Rumor Has It
What do you do when the person you care about believes the rumors going around that aren't true?
"Them" and me
They like me; I don't like them.
They want me; I don't want them.
They need me; I don't need them.
They back-stab each other; I float alone.
They pretend; I'm original.
They're liked by everyone and hated by the world; I'm liked by few but loved by someone.
They're mean because they think it's funny; I'm mean because some deserve it.
Their parents pay for everything; I work for myself.
They're happy; I'm never ok.
They hope; I believe.
They wear make-up; I have confidence.
They cry to their parents; I suffer alone.
They want me; I don't want them.
They need me; I don't need them.
They back-stab each other; I float alone.
They pretend; I'm original.
They're liked by everyone and hated by the world; I'm liked by few but loved by someone.
They're mean because they think it's funny; I'm mean because some deserve it.
Their parents pay for everything; I work for myself.
They're happy; I'm never ok.
They hope; I believe.
They wear make-up; I have confidence.
They cry to their parents; I suffer alone.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
thoughts
You just sit there and think about how screwed up life really is. From society to your own mental problems, I don't believe that there is an escape. Sometimes at the end of the day you process the information and wonder how you made it through; and from there you find strength. But other times you wonder if you can make it through another hour. People selling shit, junk getting stolen, lives getting screwed over, innocent people dying...
Someone needs to take a step back and look at our world. How do we live in a place like this?
Someone needs to take a step back and look at our world. How do we live in a place like this?
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Lost
Right now I am at a loss of words. Each descriptor fails me. Nothing can be enough to describe it all... nothing will ever be enough to describe what's happening... The closest you could get would be the word death...
People wanting to die, people who wish to die, people who believe it will be easier to die, people who want to die because they think no one cares... people who want to die because they see no other alternative. Life finally captured them and pushed them. Pushed them far enough to the edge of the cliff where they start to wonder what it's like down there... they start to wonder what it would be like to fly. They want to know if maybe they can and maybe it will be better, even though flying for humans doesn't exist. Not yet.
It's too much pain and all you think about is making the pain go away. All you can think about is stopping it, thinking about how it could all be better so simply. How even though it sucks now maybe it will be better after.
You don't know that it will. You don't know for sure; you can't say it will get better. Because here on Earth it's the exact opposite.
People wanting to die, people who wish to die, people who believe it will be easier to die, people who want to die because they think no one cares... people who want to die because they see no other alternative. Life finally captured them and pushed them. Pushed them far enough to the edge of the cliff where they start to wonder what it's like down there... they start to wonder what it would be like to fly. They want to know if maybe they can and maybe it will be better, even though flying for humans doesn't exist. Not yet.
It's too much pain and all you think about is making the pain go away. All you can think about is stopping it, thinking about how it could all be better so simply. How even though it sucks now maybe it will be better after.
You don't know that it will. You don't know for sure; you can't say it will get better. Because here on Earth it's the exact opposite.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Society
Expressiveness is hard. If you write your opinion, you get the opinions of critics that you couldn't care less about. When you write music, people have an ideal of how it should be written, taking your creativity. When you write a poem, people judge it and think it's stupid. When you write a piece in general, everyone wants to up your word choice or change it to meet their expectations. Well, guess what society, NO ONE CARES.
Our society today has certain standards for normality. These standards, I have found, absolutely, do not, whatsoever, fit to our generation of people We have a generation of people that are not afraid to be themselves. We do what we want when we want, and we are not afraid to get into trouble. We are revolutionizing the way the world thinks. Maybe others have grown up too fast. Perhaps it's not that we are too immature, but that they are too mature. Uptight, work-addicts, staring at their computer screens during 10-hour work days until their eyes pop out of their heads. The older generation that says no to fun and yes to "be careful at any cost."
So what do they do? They cage us. They ground us, they threaten us, they keep us hidden. But we keep them hidden from our world, too.
They hide the truth from reality.
If we have "problems?" Then they put us on meds to "fix" us.
If we stand up for what we think is right? Then they tell us we're talking back.
When we get in fights at school? It's behavioral misconduct, not standing up for fellow peers.
When we share our great ideas? They shut us down to keep us right where they want us.
I would honestly say that society is the most messed-up thing in the world. Not the economy, not debt, not money, not politics, not WW 3 breaking out between siblings. Just society. Society is the one thing that threatens everyone's future, not just one generation or the other. It doesn't single any one person out, it attacks everyone. Making people believe that there's a perfect figure, when in fact, perfection is completely impossible without imperfections. For our imperfections are what make us perfect --each individually perfect--from the ideas in our bulbous heads down to that funny small toe on the end of your foot. If we followed society, the world would have been screwed over many many many many many years ago.
But thanks to those we call misfits; the ones everyone picks on, makes fun of, judges, talks about; the ones that have the guts to be different; the ones who have the confidence to stand out when no one else does; thanks to those people, the world keeps turning, people keep moving, the world goes on.
Our society today has certain standards for normality. These standards, I have found, absolutely, do not, whatsoever, fit to our generation of people We have a generation of people that are not afraid to be themselves. We do what we want when we want, and we are not afraid to get into trouble. We are revolutionizing the way the world thinks. Maybe others have grown up too fast. Perhaps it's not that we are too immature, but that they are too mature. Uptight, work-addicts, staring at their computer screens during 10-hour work days until their eyes pop out of their heads. The older generation that says no to fun and yes to "be careful at any cost."
So what do they do? They cage us. They ground us, they threaten us, they keep us hidden. But we keep them hidden from our world, too.
They hide the truth from reality.
If we have "problems?" Then they put us on meds to "fix" us.
If we stand up for what we think is right? Then they tell us we're talking back.
When we get in fights at school? It's behavioral misconduct, not standing up for fellow peers.
When we share our great ideas? They shut us down to keep us right where they want us.
I would honestly say that society is the most messed-up thing in the world. Not the economy, not debt, not money, not politics, not WW 3 breaking out between siblings. Just society. Society is the one thing that threatens everyone's future, not just one generation or the other. It doesn't single any one person out, it attacks everyone. Making people believe that there's a perfect figure, when in fact, perfection is completely impossible without imperfections. For our imperfections are what make us perfect --each individually perfect--from the ideas in our bulbous heads down to that funny small toe on the end of your foot. If we followed society, the world would have been screwed over many many many many many years ago.
But thanks to those we call misfits; the ones everyone picks on, makes fun of, judges, talks about; the ones that have the guts to be different; the ones who have the confidence to stand out when no one else does; thanks to those people, the world keeps turning, people keep moving, the world goes on.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Life and death
Life.
Life is the hard part; Dying is easy. To take the easy way out is to give up. Everything that's hard to get to is worth fighting for. The easy way is almost cheating. You only get as far as life wants you to: no where.
"[The person who walks among the crowd will only go as far as the crowd. The person who walks alone will go places no one can even begin to imagine.]"
Sometimes you just need someone to give you the first push. When you learn how the game works, you'll be playing everybody like you invented the damn thing. And sometimes you lose, but there's no other option then to restart. You have to restart and be smarter. You learn from your mistakes and beat the shit out of anybody who gets in your way. You learn who is worth fighting for and who you should drop kick.
"Forget the people who forget you and respect the people who respect you."
You figure out who you can trust and who is a waste of your time. You learn that pissing people off is the easiest thing to do in the world. You create and invent and learn and grow. You make mistakes.
Life.
What the hell is life?
Life is the hard part; Dying is easy. To take the easy way out is to give up. Everything that's hard to get to is worth fighting for. The easy way is almost cheating. You only get as far as life wants you to: no where.
"[The person who walks among the crowd will only go as far as the crowd. The person who walks alone will go places no one can even begin to imagine.]"
Sometimes you just need someone to give you the first push. When you learn how the game works, you'll be playing everybody like you invented the damn thing. And sometimes you lose, but there's no other option then to restart. You have to restart and be smarter. You learn from your mistakes and beat the shit out of anybody who gets in your way. You learn who is worth fighting for and who you should drop kick.
"Forget the people who forget you and respect the people who respect you."
You figure out who you can trust and who is a waste of your time. You learn that pissing people off is the easiest thing to do in the world. You create and invent and learn and grow. You make mistakes.
Life.
What the hell is life?
Friday, January 11, 2013
wrong and right
Each day it gets harder and harder to tell what's right and what's wrong...
What's happening to the people you love,
and most of all, what's happening to you...
When wrong becomes right,
the lines get blurred;
Fuzzy from the tears in your eyes.
That's when the confusion starts to set in. You can't tell the difference between one object and another. You start to lose it. When you can't see, when you don't know what else to do. The finally life becomes one big scene of blurred shapes and colors. And then nothing makes sense anymore. You finally believe that you've lost it all... It's all gone, down the drain, never to return.
What's happening to the people you love,
and most of all, what's happening to you...
When wrong becomes right,
the lines get blurred;
Fuzzy from the tears in your eyes.
That's when the confusion starts to set in. You can't tell the difference between one object and another. You start to lose it. When you can't see, when you don't know what else to do. The finally life becomes one big scene of blurred shapes and colors. And then nothing makes sense anymore. You finally believe that you've lost it all... It's all gone, down the drain, never to return.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Bleeding Black
I sat there in silence. There was nothing but the dark and I. I could feel the warmth of blood running down my wrist and palm. In a way, It was relaxing. No more pain, no more worries, just a sort of tingly, stinging, throbbing sensation in my fingers. But I didn't mind. It didn't hurt at all. I knew I would feel the sting more tomorrow, but right now I was safe. Just a calm feeling of sitting in the welcoming arms of the dark. Enveloping me and crushing all worries for the moment.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Time
Confusion settles in... not sure what to do, what to think, how to feel, what to do, what to say, where to go from here.... It happened again... But somehow I think it'll be okay. Something has changed. Maybe it was the fact we snapped together, maybe it was the fact that everything helped. Or maybe I truly am wrong this time. Only time can tell I suppose. There's nothing that can tell you how to feel or what's going to happen.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
advice
Here's some advice that I find rings true waaay more often than not...
1.) No pain no gain
2.) If something seems too good to be true, then usually it is
3.) There are two types of people in the world: People who are your friends and people who should keep their mouths shut
4.) You will never need algebra unless you are an algebra teacher
5.) When you distance yourself from people, the ones that are worried and won't leave you alone are the ones who actually care
6.) If people don't respect you then don't respect them
7.) If people forget about you, then forget about them too
1.) No pain no gain
2.) If something seems too good to be true, then usually it is
3.) There are two types of people in the world: People who are your friends and people who should keep their mouths shut
4.) You will never need algebra unless you are an algebra teacher
5.) When you distance yourself from people, the ones that are worried and won't leave you alone are the ones who actually care
6.) If people don't respect you then don't respect them
7.) If people forget about you, then forget about them too
Saturday, January 5, 2013
It
I can feel my heart freeze over when you call for me. The water dripping and freezing my veins... My shivers warning me, goosebumps racing down my whole body. Worries bouncing around in my head. No more tears, just spine tingling screams. Wrists red with blood from silent demons. A pitch black soul from pain. Not an ounce of happiness left. Nothing. Hatred fills my eyes. Lips turn purple. Who knew one could feel so... empty?
lyrics
"I won't wait much longer, cause these walls they're crashing down, and I keep coming up short."
Friday, January 4, 2013
money
Money can't buy happiness. It is the one impossible thing in the world. Unless you are stupid enough to believe that it can't, it is the one impossible thing. Money does not buy happiness. Unfortunately some people just cannot seem to get that through their skulls.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
inspiration
Inspiration comes from the heart. A reaction from emotions. The output to an input full of feeling.
You see something, you react, and the gears in your mind start turning. Or at least that's how it works for me. I am an artist, I am a writer, I am a dreamer. I am who I am, and I work how I work, and no one will ever change that about me.
But isn't that the truth? You could say that all inspiration starts with emotion. That's where I pull mine from. When my friend discovered suicide? I took that depression and turned it into something beautiful. A beautifully depressing piece of art, and a depressing, strengthening, poem. My inspiration not only comes from my emotion, my inspiration IS my emotion. My ideas, my thought process, my art. It's all emotion, how it works, how I feel, what I've become.
It's my inspiration, my emotion.
You see something, you react, and the gears in your mind start turning. Or at least that's how it works for me. I am an artist, I am a writer, I am a dreamer. I am who I am, and I work how I work, and no one will ever change that about me.
But isn't that the truth? You could say that all inspiration starts with emotion. That's where I pull mine from. When my friend discovered suicide? I took that depression and turned it into something beautiful. A beautifully depressing piece of art, and a depressing, strengthening, poem. My inspiration not only comes from my emotion, my inspiration IS my emotion. My ideas, my thought process, my art. It's all emotion, how it works, how I feel, what I've become.
It's my inspiration, my emotion.
tear cancelation
I've only cried over one guy. Those tears were wasted. Don't expect me to cry for you, too.
Cause I'm not going to.
You can't let one arrogant asshole ruin your whole life.
Cause I'm not going to.
You can't let one arrogant asshole ruin your whole life.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Here's why
You want to know why I won't open up to you? You want to know why I won't tell you even though you mean everything to me? You want to know why it's hard? You want to know why it hurts so much? You want to know why I started not to care? Why nothing matters? Why I'm so tough? Why I have anger and depression issues?
Why my life is hell?
Because the world is filled with judge mental jackasses and I'm stuck in the middle.
Get over it.
I did.
Why my life is hell?
Because the world is filled with judge mental jackasses and I'm stuck in the middle.
Get over it.
I did.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)