Suicide--stop joking

You guys just don't fucking get it, do you?!  You always say, "oh yeah I know how suicide goes," or "they'll be fine," or "oh it'll pass, its not a big deal." Or you pretend to know... you pull the old, "Oh yeah, I'm sorry, I know how you feel" excuse out of your asses. BUT YOU DON'T FUCKING GET IT. You don't know what it feels like. You won't know until you feel that shitload of pain when you lose someone. All you feel is pain, and then it all goes numb. Completely numb. You feel nothing. You can't feel the pain, instead it just crushes your chest... you can't breathe; you can't think; you don't want to live; you don't know what to do; you become afraid to wake up everyday; and finally it all becomes too much.

Suicide doesn't just take it's toll on the person who's committed it. It effects everyone who knows them. People can pretend to understand, they can pretend they're worried and they can pretend what's going on. But they just don't fucking get it until it's too late. They don't get it and they certainly don't understand.

The worst part about everyday is knowing what that feeling is... knowing that at any moment one of the people I care about could drop off of the earth... and not knowing whether I could do something about it. Whether I have it in me to be able to save one more person that needs saving. I need saving, but no one's ever done that. So I need to be there. I need to be able to do it for others. But I'm worn down... and I've done so much... It's hard to fix things that are so wrong. To bring light into someone's life when all you see yourself is the dark.

                     I don't judge. I don't care if you think they're stupid because they want to die. What's stupid is making someone feel like they want to die. I'm going to stand by them even past the day I die. I want to make a difference to those who don't think they have anyone. I will love them. I do love them. And I will always fucking love them and nothing will ever change that.